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It’s all yours for  just a tad bit more than what Carl Crawford makes in a year: “Dobermans released every two hours to patrol the property. Underground streets lined with a restaurant, bars and a barber shop. A private beach and marina sculpted into the shores of Lake Erie. Helicopter pad. Rotating garage floor made of marble so no one had to back out that rare Ducati.”

But does it have a special Cone of Silence room? Probably not.

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