Boston Real Estate
An email chain from Boston real estate landlord and her tenant
From: David Thorne
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Thank you for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbors and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realize my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.
Regards,
David.
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From: Helen Bailey
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David:
I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?
Helen
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From: David Thorne
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Currently, I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in the Portland, Maine, dog sled racing.
I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships.
For the first year of the puppy’s life, I intend to say the word “mush” then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together.
I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.
Regards,
David.
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From: Helen Bailey
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?
Helen.
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From: David Thorne
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees Celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbors. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. They may have flown in when I left the bathroom window open.
The noise which my neighbors possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my Tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover Chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhea.
Regards,
David.
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From: Helen Bailey
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David,
You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.
Helen
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From: David Thorne
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
They are very small ducks.
Regards,
David.
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From: Helen Bailey
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?
Helen.
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From: David Thorne
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway.
Regards,
David.
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From: Helen Bailey
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David,
I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.
Helen
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