Conversations you might be hearing around the neighborhood

Well, summer is here – the time for cookouts and rooftop cocktail parties. And, no one loves a barbecue as much as I. Where else do you get a chance to mingle with old friends as well as new acquaintances, to talk with each other about the weather, crime, and local politics. About store closings …

But, meeting new people can be troublesome. If you’re like me, you often run out of topics, or get stuck talking to socially awkward people. Or worse, McCain supporters.

Therefore, as a public service, here are some conversation starters – or enders, depending on the situation – to help you out.

* When the Mayor speaks, it reminds me of Keats.

* It’s so funny – every time I come home from a weekend away, there’s an empty parking space waiting for me right in front of my apartment.

* I had the most entertaining sidewalk conversation with someone from Greenpeace, the other day; and with someone from the Children’s Defense Fund; and with someone from the DNC; and someone from MassPIRG; and someone from …

* Yes I buy $8 tomatoes – that’s because they’re eight times as delicious!

* I wish Mike Dukakis would run for office again.

* So, I just signed up for this thing called America Online.

* I can’t think of a better location for a budget motel than on Tremont Street.

* Aw, who am I kidding, I just go to the Boston Ballet for the boys in tights.

* I don’t know about you, but I’ve had just about enough of these sports parades.

* Does this look infectious?

* The Rose Kennedy Parkway looks so beautiful – they’ve really done a wonderful job.

* The sound of jet-liners constantly taking off and landing at Logan is so calming, it lulls me to sleep.

* To people who say they need a park to walk their dogs, I say, there is one – it’s called New Hampshire.

* I wish there were more places to eat in the South End.

* I can’t wait for the “Romney – 2012” campaign to begin.

* Inflation is nuts, these days! – just try to find a baby carriage for under a thousand dollars.

* Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think there’s ever been a better ball-player than Alex Rodriguez.

* Wait, they’re testing bio-hazards where???

* One thing’s for sure, real estate agents really earn their pay.

* They must be doing something right … South End streets have never been cleaner.

* I find the Boston Herald always has the hard-hitting type of reporting that we need in this town.

* Who’s up for the Motley Crue concert this weekend?

* The seats at Fenway are so uncomfortable – what we need is a new ballpark.

* If a mother feels comfortable nursing her baby in front of me, then she should feel comfortable with me staring at her.

* I met the greatest guy in the Fens last night.

* Yogurt has more culture than the South End.

* I miss Billy Bulger.

* Anyone else notice that gas prices have been going up?

* You know, what the South End really needs is another pet store.

* So, I’ve been chatting with this teenager online.

* The Silver Line is amazing – so fast and convenient, you really should try it.

* Let me tell you a funny story I heard in rehab.

* I hate brick.

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